Alone, I
recently attended a four day pagan festival presented by the Temple of Devine Ecstasy.
The main ritual took place on Saturday night and is called, very appropriately, The
Wheel of Life. One of the workshops was about Polyamory, and when asked
how many of us identify as poly, all but a small handful of attendees raised
their hands. And for four days, I was surrounded by an abundance of
boundless love. To tell the story of the entire festival would require a
book, so I decided to share with you my recounting of the main ritual.
It
rained off and on all day long. It was early Saturday evening when the
rain came once more and several in the throng, including me, were getting
worried. The main ritual would begin this night at nine o'clock sharp,
rain or shine, but no one wanted rain to dampen this sacred sexuality
event. The high priestess was unconcerned and told us not to worry.
She said, "It will not rain. It never rains during the main
ritual."
The
ritual was still a couple of hours away, but the atmosphere surrounding me
changed. I could feel the energy and the excitement among the
people. The fire tenders were busy chopping wood; the naked bodies of
lovers chosen to participate were being painted; colorful, ritualistic costumes
were beginning to appear; and we were told to position our chairs or blankets
in the ritual area early, because this sort of distraction would not be allowed
during the ritual.
About
thirty minutes before the ritual began, the priest and priestesses spoke to
us. I learned that the ritual is divided into two parts. During the
first part, the most sacred, no talking would be allowed. We would enter
the ritual area as a community in single file, circle the fire one complete
time and during the second trip around the fire, we would fall out and
stop in front of our chair or blanket. We would remain standing until
everyone found their rightful place. No one would be allowed to enter or
leave the ritual area during this part of the ceremony. We were cautioned
to make a bathroom stop beforehand.
Having
resided in the campground, reverently called the sanctuary, for a couple
of days prior, I was familiar with the main ritual area. Four towers
delineated the ritual grounds in quarters. Each tower was painted a
symbolic color and represented the directions of north, south, east and west
and one of the elements of earth, fire, air and water. A fifth,
non-material element, spirit, would also be represented in the
ritual. The fire, of course, was the centerpiece. It was carefully
measured so as to be big enough to provide light and warmth, but small enough
to avoid over-heating the lovers and dancers.
Shortly
before nine o'clock, the rain stopped right on cue as predicted. As we
entered the sacred grounds to the rhythmic beat of the drums, I was reminded of
the Catholic Eucharist and how the community comes forth to the front of the
alter to receive Holy Communion. The Mass contains many sacred
components, but the Eucharist is always the most spiritual. Entering the
ritual area, I felt as if I was approaching the alter.
The
ritual seemed to borrow heavily from Native American traditions. Three
circles around the fire were formed. The community and the drummers took
their positions in the outer circle; the middle circle was for the dancers and
the inner circle for the five sets of lovers, four dyads and one triad, each
representing one of the elements of earth, fire, air, water and spirit.
When all of the entrance movement wound down, it suddenly became almost eerily
quiet. Then, one-by-one, by their respective quarter, the lovers were
called forth to their blankets in the inner circle.
The
community was seated and the dancers, women in colorful costumes, some
bare-breasted and some not, and one man in a loin cloth danced clock-wise
around the fire. Dancers after a time will zone-out; it is called trancing.
They are conscious enough not to bump into each other or fall in the fire, but
they become otherwise unaware of their surroundings. The beat varied, at
times slow, then faster, then slow again; the dancers stayed in perfect
rhythm. They connect with the Divine dancing; it is how they pray.
One
of the drummers befriended me when I first arrived on Thursday; his tent was
pitched directly across from mine on the other side of the road. He
explained a little about drumming, the ritualistic role of the drummers and the
pride taken in their durability and stamina. He proudly showed me his
drum, which had blood splatters from cuts on his hands caused by lengthy
drumming. The drummers will drum nightly for those who wish to dance
around the fire, but during the main ritual, they have a last dancer standing
mentality. They understand the sacredness of the ritual and the
importance of their role. If needed, they will drum all
night.
Some
of the lovers' body paintings included symbols relevant to the direction or
element of each. Other paintings were more extreme. One man's
entire upper torso was painted orange and he had black tiger strips closely
spaced up and down his back. The reflection of light from the fire and
two lanterns on either side of the blanket formed a striking image, as he
coupled with a beautiful woman. I kept a close eye on them and on the
triadic partners, as these two sets of lovers were positioned in closest
proximity to me. Never before have I witnessed triadic lovers love so
tenderly together. The configuration was male-female-male and the woman
was soon in a highly blissful state. Soon, all of the lovers were in the
throes of passion. They were not fucking, or just fucking; what I observed
was nothing less than heartfelt lovemaking.
The
drums beat, the dancers danced and the lovers loved. The sounds of
pleasure pierced the air. The energy generated spread to the entire
community and it was uplifting, spiritual and beautiful. It was one of
the most moving experiences of my life. We were told beforehand that the
ritual is all about community; that we were all participants; and it absolutely
felt that way to me. I have entered beautiful cathedrals, prayed with the
congregation as a community and experienced a powerful spiritual
uplifting. Many would laugh at the comparison of a pagan ritual with the
Catholic Mass; yet, I saw the similarities, or more accurately, I felt the
similarities within me.
In
time, the drumming stopped and the drummers cheered. The community joined
in, cheering and clapping wildly. After a short time, the drumming
resumed, signally the transition from the first to the second part of the
ritual. The first part was solemn and religious, while the second was
more celebratory and went on much longer. The dancers were still dancing
and the lovers were still loving, but were now joined in greater number by the
community. The drum beat seemed quicker and more jubilant; loving
partners in the outer ring made love on their blankets; people were free to
come and go, and they did so. The ritual continued for hours.
Around
midnight, feeling tired, I retired to my tent. Lying very still, I slowed
and deepened my breath, ran my hands up and down my body, and was able to
trance out and experience moksha (that is, to touch the Divine). The
pleasure was nice, but afterwards, a melancholy mood came over me. I
thought of Connie and the other women who touch my life. I missed them
dearly. I attended many workshops and rituals involving intimacy in
various forms with a partner. Most of these exercises involved touch,
energy exchange or both. And throughout, I was sans partner. This
ultimately took a toll on my psyche. I
want to return next year, but will not do so without a woman in my bed.
I
was still awake around one o'clock in the morning when the drumming
stopped. Within minutes, a torrential Florida downpour cut loose and it
rained all night. Fortunately, it was the last night of the festival
because my tent flooded. But the bigger issue in my mind was the timing
of when the rain began and ended. I laid awake trying to figure that one
out. The window of dry weather lasted four hours, almost the exact same
length of the ritual. The high priestess never had a doubt. Did the
monotheistic God that Jews, Christians and Muslims worship intervene? Or
was it a polytheistic happening, gods or goddesses who may have lived thousands
of years ago, now deified with their own mythos? Or was it
entirely coincidental? The answer, of course, varies depending on your
belief system.
I
discovered more than spiritual connectivity between paganism and
Christianity. One of the presenters worships Inanna, a Sumerian goddess
who lived somewhere around 5000 BC. The presenter spoke eloquently about
her relationship with Inanna and also about Inanna's death. Inanna
traveled to the underworld where she was perceived as a threat; she was
executed, buried, and in three days, rose again. Sound familiar?
Was the Christian story of Easter borrowed from the Inanna myth? Or did
it come from one of the many other resurrection stories passed down through the
ages? Or is the biblical account of Easter literally true? Again,
it all depends on your belief system.
Admittedly,
I know almost nothing about paganism now, but over time, I will study it and
learn; my appetite has been wetted. I also know that I am very spiritual
and unconcerned with religious doctrine. And my participation in the
Wheel of Life was probably the most spiritual experience of my life. I
will never forget it.
I
will close by mentioning one more ritual I participated in as part of the
community. A woman was initiated into a higher church ranking in a
beautiful ritual on Friday evening. Her previous position was that of an Acolyte
and on that night, she became a Priestess. (I inquired about the
next step in the church hierarchy and was told it would take her at least ten
years to become a High Priestess.) As a way of honoring her and
continuing her initiation process, the new priestess was chosen to be one of
the lovers in the main ritual, which is considered a very high honor.
During
the village council meeting on Sunday (similar to a conference wrap-up session
in a more mundane setting), a talking stick (resembling an Indian rattle) was
passed among the community and everyone was given the opportunity to
speak. Many moving comments about the community coming together and
bonding closely were spoken; some also referred to the festival as a
life-changing experience. One woman and her partner in particular moved
the crowd.
They
were given the honor of being one of the five sets of lovers in the main
ritual, but were not originally chosen. She spoke of problems in their
relationship and the healing effect of the Wheel of Life. After a time,
she broke down, unable to continue speaking. He stepped in for her and
finished the story. He told of how the new priestess found out about
their difficulties and unselfishly, without hesitation, offered them her place
in the inner circle. They protested and she responded, "I am now a
priestess. It is my duty to serve."
Such
was the love that surrounded me for four days.
